A few years back I was at one of my lowest points. I was recovering from brain surgery and I had experienced a few bumps in the road during my recovery. I was isolated, depressed, and weary. Years of suffering had been catching up to me and my ability to endure it all was slipping away.
Would you like to know what God used as my rescue?
Spinal taps.
Not just spinal taps, but failed spinal taps. Botched spinal taps. Three of them. Three horrible, awful, painful spinal taps were what He allowed me to go through during one of the darkest moments of my life.
I will never forget lying on the exam room table, utterly inconsolable. I cried out to God as I felt every inch of the needle pass through my body, “where are you Lord? Why aren’t you protecting me? Haven’t I been through enough?”
It was sort of like in the story of Jesus raising Lazarus.
John 11:5-6 reads, “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.”
I’m sorry, what?
Those verses might as well read, “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill he did the complete opposite of what you think he would have done. Instead of running to them immediately, he stalled and did a little sightseeing for a few days.”
At first glance, it seems like Jesus maybe didn’t care all that much. I mean, he was content to let his friend suffer for 2 more days with his illness and then eventually die before he showed up. His delayed arrival made things so much worse. Mary and Martha sum it all up when they say, “if only you had been here…
We have the privilege of seeing the end of this story. We know that Jesus’ delay was intentional. He did not want Lazarus to die. He needed him to die so that he could perform one of the greatest miracles in his earthly ministry.
In our own lives, we can’t see the end of the story. We long to see God rescue us from our pain and suffering. And when the rescue comes in the form of thing going from bad to worse, we doubt God’s intentions. We assume that His delay is our demise.
I know that’s what I thought on the exam room table during those awful spinal taps. I figured that He had just given up on trying to help me. Maybe I just wasn’t worth the effort, maybe He had better things to do than help me.
Looking back, I would repeat those spinal taps 1,000 times over. They did absolutely nothing for my physical health but they sparked a series of events and circumstances in my life that have brought me astounding spiritual healing and growth. Those spinal taps eventually lead me to experience Jesus Christ in ways that I never knew was possible.
I know it’s hard to look into the face of worsening circumstances and believe that God might actually be using them bring healing, but it’s true.
Romans 8:28 says “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Notice that the text doesn’t say all things are good. And it certainly does not say that the good comes about in quick and obvious ways either. But the good will come. And like the story of Lazarus, sometimes our worsening circumstances are a sign that something or Someone good is right around the corner.
In Christ, our worst things can become the best things.
