My husband is on a fishing trip in Wyoming right now. While he looks for rainbow trout on the Green River, I am home alone. I don’t have much happening on my social calendar this week so for the next three days, I am going to be by myself.
How do you feel about being alone? Do you avoid it? Relish it?
Solitude is like taking a multivitamin. We know it’s probably good for us and we should do it more regularly, but if we’re honest, it just doesn’t sound that appealing and there are far more pressing things to focus on. Also? Suffering and solitude don’t always play nicely together. There is a very fine line between solitude and isolation. If you’re walking through a difficult season, the last thing you want to do is sit in a room all by yourself and feel the weight of your alone-ness. Yeah, no thanks. I’d much rather grab coffee with a friend, talk to my mom on the phone, or watch The Great British Baking Show on Netflix.
Jesus & Solitude
Jesus was alone all the time. We see him stealing away to be alone throughout the Gospels. Anytime he wanted a moment to himself, Jesus would head for the hills to pray and spend time with the Father.
- But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray. (Luke 5:16)
- And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone. (Matthew 14:23)
- Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. (Matthew 14:13)
- And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. (Mark 1:35)
- And after he had taken leave of them, he went up on the mountain to pray. (Mark 6:46)
Although it feels counterintuitive, we are never more accompanied and attended to than we are in solitude with God. We enter a holy withness as the Triune God blankets us with presence and love. True to God’s love of paradox, solitude is exactly what we need when we feel most alone in our pain.
Hours before he was arrested, Jesus went to the Garden of Gesthemane with some close friends. He easily could have asked his companions to distract him, comfort him, or even pray with him, but instead, Jesus left them to go be alone. In Christ’s darkest hour, solitude with the Father was his greatest comfort.
I’m a true-blue introvert so being alone brings me peace and refreshment. It’s not hard for me to spend hours or even days (like right now) by myself, however, spending hours alone is not the essence of spiritual solitude. I can be alone all day, but if I’m reading books, scrolling Instagram, watching the news or writing emails, my soul isn’t fully laid bare before the Lord. Heck, I can even have daily quiet times with God where my mind is so full of distraction, that I’m not truly allowing myself to be alone with God because I’m overly present to my own thoughts.
Soulitude
Soulitude is what our hearts long for the most: an intentional, solitary time of sitting in the presence of God as He cares for our soul. Jesus whispers, “Come away with me…”(Mark 6:31) so that our heart might respond in soulitude.
It is here, in soulitude, when body, mind and soul are able to most freely connect with the Spirit of God. When we are in a posture of quiet and spiritual solitude before God, untethered from distraction and convenient interruptions, we are able to receive what we need most from the Lord: His love, presence, comfort and healing. Soulitude is about quieting ourselves with God, not looking for the next verse to memorize. It’s about fostering stillness as we sit softly with God. We don’t need to do anything other than free ourselves of distraction and become aware of God’s presence around us. In this, we find the very things our hurting hearts need most.
Practicing Soulitude:
1. Start with 5 minutes.
2. Sit, stand, kneel or walk in a favorite spot – indoors or outside, wherever you feel most peaceful.
3. Remove all distraction and temptation that could sway your attention.
4. Release yourself from any expectations for this time.
5. Simply be with God in stillness and quiet.
6. If you find yourself with racing thoughts or urges to quit, that’s perfectly normal. Simply share those thoughts with God and continue on. Some people like to have a centering word like, “Jesus” or “Grace” that they can say if they find their mind wandering. This can help you come back to a place of groundedness as you rest in God’s presence.
The entire 5 minutes may be filled with distractions and self-doubt…and that’s perfectly ok. It gets easier with time and repetition. God honors our desirous intentions of communing with Him. If your 5 minutes went well, aim for 10 next time. Before you know it, you may find yourself stealing away for an entire morning of soulitude, just like Jesus did.
In Christ, your soul can rest.
