How does healing happen? What needs to take place in order to feel different…better…restored? This is the first post in a series about the process of healing. We’re starting with the life-changing neuroscience behind it all – Memory Reconsolidation.
I have an insatiable hunger for answers and insight. Everywhere I go, I seek connections and understanding. I was born to connect the dots.
When I first entered graduate school for counseling I was overflowing with questions about healing.
How does healing happen?
How can I help someone with a particular problem?
What is the best theory, the best path, the best intervention?
Is therapy more helpful than friendship?
Can emotional healing be permanent?
Is there a secret combination of theories or prayers or exercises that can cure everyone and everything?
Unfortunately, the answers I longed for never came. Instead, I was left with boring hypotheses, 50-year-old interventions, and arguments about which treatments were reimbursable by insurance companies.
My frustration left me feeling helpless and ineffective as a therapist. Ultimately, my lack of answers and guidance caused me to walk away from counseling for over a decade. If I was going to help people, I needed something concrete to work from, something more certain than vague theories.
My return to being a therapist is a long story that I’ll tell on a different day but I distinctly remember stumbling across the term “Memory Reconsolidation” one day after I googled the question, “Can I overwrite my memories?”
The answer changed everything for me.
Memory Reconsolidation
Memory Reconsolidation is like editing an image on your iPhone.
Let’s say you take a picture of a sunset. When you open the image on your phone, you have the option to edit the photo. With a few quick adjustments, you can enhance the saturation, color/hue, contrast, and even crop people out of the background. It’s the same photo, it’s just a modified (and usually better) version than the original.
The same process occurs in Memory Reconsolidation.
When we have an experience, it gets stored in our memory. If we open the memory by thinking or talking about it, it becomes labile and you can make “edits.” Research has shown that after reactivating a memory, there is a 5-hour window where the memory is malleable and open to change before it gets reconsolidated and stored back into long-term memory. This time allows us to create new meanings and associations around the memory, which is especially useful for traumatic events and memories.
Don’t worry, this isn’t brainwashing and it’s not about erasing your memories. This process simply reduces the emotional impact of the memory so that you’re less affected by it and can form new interpretations about it.
How Memory Reconsolidation Works
Based on hundreds of research studies that look at the mechanics of memory, the process of Memory Reconsolidation involves unlocking and reorganizing an old memory so the mind can grasp new, healthier associations.
Memory Reconsolidation is a neurological reality, not a theory. It is the neurobiology behind how your brain heals and it happens in just 3 simple steps:
- Activation of the memory
- Disconfirmation – introducing something that “disproves” your original experience of the memory and gives you a new experience
- Sinking into the new experience
A Real Life Example
Let’s say something happened to you a long time ago that you feel a lot of shame about. No one knows about it and you’ve kept it a secret for over 25 years. Then one day, you get the courage to tell your friend about what happened. After you share, you expect them to react with the same kind of disgust you feel, but instead, they offer you a kind smile and a compassionate hug, and they say, “I had a similar experience. You are so strong, I’m amazed by how you got through that.” Instead of joining your shame, they offer you grace and kindness. You walk away from this conversation feeling a bit lighter and you find yourself thinking about your friend’s kind words while you drive to work later that day.
This is Memory Reconsolidation at work.
You have reactivated the memory by talking about it.
Your friend’s reaction helps you form a new interpretation.
The more you think about the new interpretation, the less shame you feel.
Healing That is Unique to You
The beautiful thing about Memory Reconsolidation is that there is no singular way it has to happen. It can look a thousand different ways.
In fact, for the process to really be effective, it almost has to happen in a way that is organic and unique to you.
It can happen in a therapy session and it can happen in a close friendship. It can happen while sitting in a church service or at an amusement park. You can be alone or you can be in a crowded room.
The possibilities for healing are endless.
Memory Reconsolidation in Therapy
Through all of my research, training, experiences with clients, and my own therapeutic journey, I have come to see that Memory Reconsolidation is at the core of virtually all psychological and emotional healing. It is the unassuming force behind how we heal shame, trauma, anxiety, PTSD, depression, the effects of abuse, and it is how our attachment wounds are healed.
Memory Reconsolidation is at the heart of just about every effective and evidence-based therapy model and is at the core of how I approach therapy.
I thought it might be interesting to do a series of posts about the different ways healing happens through Memory Reconsolidation. I want to pull back the curtain on what it is we’re actually doing in therapy and why it’s helpful – it shouldn’t be a secretive process!
This is the first post in this series. I’m excited to share more insight in the weeks to come.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering… Memory Reconsolidation is not a man-made intervention, it is simply the discovery of how God has designed our brains to heal. It’s been going on for thousands of years, we just have the ability to see it happen in real-time through things like functional MRIs and ongoing research studies.
Interested in learning more about Memory Reconsolidation? Check out these resources:
Dr. Tori Olds video explanation
A Primer on Memory Reconsolidation, Dr. Bruce Ecker
Therapist Uncensored Podcast, “The Life-Changing Science of Memory Reconsolidation”
