My inbox and text messages have been overflowing this week. In the span of seven days, I have received GoFundMe and Meal Train links, updates from missionaries fleeing Ukraine and countless prayer requests about health scares, broken relationships, tragic car accidents and upcoming surgeries – and that’s all before I look at the news, social media or the stressors in my own life.
To be honest, it’s more than I can bear.
The weight of vicarious trauma is a real problem for most of us – the human heart was not built to contain real-time updates about all that is wrong in the world. In our era of wars and injustice and endless natural disasters, we certainly need to offer our prayer requests to God but we also need to give Him the cumulative weight of those prayer requests.
Our hearts long for space from the endless stream of pain and problems. We need soul-saving respite that only comes from releasing our burdens to the One who is able to carry them all.
Benevolent Detachment
Ever pray so hard that you felt more burdened at the end than when you began?
The spiritual practice of Benevolent Detachment, which has deep roots in the Ignatian tradition of Christian spirituality, embraces the call of Jesus to surrender our heavy loads and receive his rest. It is a shockingly-simple prayer posture that makes a huge impact on our weary hearts. Even the name, Benevolent Detachment, conjures up a picture of openly releasing our cares into the warm, welcoming hands of our Savior.
Through Benevolent Detachment, we find freedom from white-knuckling our prayer requests or overly attaching ourselves to particular outcomes of those prayer requests. It literally frees us from all that weighs us down.
Benevolent Detachment restores a spaciousness within us so that we can continue caring well for others without drowning in pain that isn’t actually ours. This practice frees us from carrying too much for too long and it reconnects us with the expansive, loving attention of Jesus. Over time, Benevolent Detachment actually creates more space within us to love and pray for others because we are no longer pushing the boundaries of our emotional capacity.
As we practice this form of attachment over time, we often find that we become so aligned with God’s will, that outcomes are naturally less urgent and we are “ok either way.” I’m ok if this outcome happens, I’m ok if it doesn’t happen – I’m ok either way.
Benevolent Detachment Prayer Practice
Sit quietly, allowing your eyes to softly close and palms to rest in an open position.
Take a few deep, cleansing breaths and pray St. Ignatius’ Suspice Prayer,
“Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding,
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.
You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.
Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
that is enough for me.”
I also really love to add John Eldredge’s prayer language:
“Jesus, I give everything and everyone to you. I give everything and everyone to you.”
Allow yourself to feel and sink into the reality of God lifting the burdens you have been carrying. Allow yourself to release all outcomes.
That’s it.
The everything encompasses every prayer request you’ve been privy to, every burden you carry, every news article you’ve read, every painful story you have encountered, every tear you’ve shed on behalf of others – all of it counts.
If you like this idea and want to engage it more, I highly recommend the One Minute Pause app where you can be guided through his version of Benevolent Detachment. The posture of benevolent detachment is also something we explore in depth in spiritual direction as well.
